Exhaustion settles in, further and further deep inside of my soul. Yet excitement is rising and fighting to be a contender within my inner battle. I am always exhausted, it seems. I have given myself time to sleep this week more so than last week, yet I still feel so tired. But this week was good! Aside from the fatigue, everything seems to be going well.

We had Cory Stroud, one of the base leaders here in Herrnhut, come in and speak for us. She taught me a lot and also challenged me to think more about what kind of foundation I am standing upon. Throughout the week, Cory taught us about our foundations and our beliefs by using the image of a tree. The soil is the environmental worldview that we have, or how we grew up and were raised. This is something we cannot change. The roots of the tree represent our beliefs, and this is something that is completely up to us. From that, the trunk is next and that represents our values. Next are the branches which are our principles and decisions. The fruit of the tree that we produce is shown by our actions, behaviours, and practices. The seeds from this fruit are what we pass on to others. Looking at my background, and my values, and my seeds, and everything in between helped me realize what kind of fruit I am producing and also that everything in the tree is dependent on everything else. For example, my values will affect my actions. My soil affects my roots. My seeds are affected by my decisions. Everything is interdependent and this is such a crucial point to understand.

At the end of the week, Cory challenged us with the question of “What kind of fruit do I want to produce?” Once we determine that answer, we can sort of go backwards through the tree and decide what needs to be changed and how in order to produce that specific fruit. She also asked us “What kind of actions do I no longer want to see in my life?” and how to go about making those changes as well. These are huge questions for me to consider, because I am only just beginning to actually comprehend that I have the power to make the change in my own life.

These past few weeks, I have been doing so much thinking and am constantly processing all that I have learned. This is possibly one of the main reasons as to why I am so tired all the time; I am always trying to think and learn and grow. This is a good thing though, so I am hoping that because I am so tired that maybe I am making progress in my processing and in my growth. I realized the other days that as a result of the burdens of my past and the fears of my future, I have given myself no strength for today. My prayer is that I can really learn to trust God with my future as well as my past so that I can begin to truly focus on each day that he blesses me with.

And with that, I am going to completely change the topic and tell you about why I will be in a different country next week! We have learned the locations of our mini-outreaches and the entire Winter MOTA school will be in three different countries this time next week. Five students and four staff will make their way to the Ukraine to work in an orphanage there and possibly do some street ministry. Another five students along with three staff will be travelling through the Czech Republic, working at an English camp for one week on the Western side of Czech Republic, then helping out at a missions conference in Prague for another week, and then helping at another conference for a weekend on the Eastern side. The remaining five students with three of the staff will be staying in Germany, but heading to the Southern area to help out with the Fall MOTA tour and also doing some ministry there. 

I will be part of the Czech Republic team! This is quite exciting, because I will be able to travel through the Czech Republic and also have experience with several different kinds of ministries. The team that I am with will be a lot of fun and I know it will be a really good time. I originally wanted to go to the Ukraine and work in the orphanage there, because I absolutely adore children, yet God had another plan for me. Over the past few days he has been encouraging me to trust him in his choice and has been revealing the reasons for why he chose for me to go to the Czech Republic instead of Ukraine. Again and again I am seeing the goodness and faithfulness of God; the great love that he has for me continues to astound me every day. I know that each of these outreach teams are hand-picked by God. I pray that we do all we can in each location for his glory alone and always rely on him and trust in him. Prayers for travelling mercies and health, as well as rest and focus and strength and encouragement for every team would be greatly appreciated. I am looking forward to what God has in store for each of these teams. In three weeks you will definitely be hearing from me about my time in the Czech Republic!  

So with these new challenges and these new updates, the excitement within me is growing. My hope and prayers for each of you is that you may find rest as well as excitement in your daily lives. Something that I heard in church today reminded me that is not solely what you believe, but what you are excited about and what you emphasize. May you remember that God loves you and may that love spark an excitement that grows within your soul so deeply and strongly that you can no longer contain it. May God continue to bless you in all that you do. 

Hoping all is well;

Love always,

Fina